Dirty Dish Blues

[intro]
(brass stab) Yeah! One, two, three, four!

[verse 1]
There's a mountain in the sink and it ain't the Himalayas,
It's last Tuesday's pasta and a fork gone grey,
You said you'd do the dishes, that was three days ago,
Now the mug's growing something that's begun to say hey!

[pre-chorus]
And I've counted every plate, yeah I've counted every cup,
Twenty-seven dirty glasses and you won't give them up!

[chorus]
Wash it up, wash it up, the sink is overflowing,
You cooked your greasy noodles and now the kitchen's glowing,
Wash it up, wash it up, I'm begging on my knees,
'Cause I just want a spoon that doesn't smell like blue cheese!

[verse 2]
You've mastered every alibi, you're slick with your excuses,
"I did them Sunday morning" — man, that bubble's popped,
I found the frying pan behind the cereal boxes,
One more crusty bowl and I'm calling the cops!

[pre-chorus]
'Cause the sponge has given up and the dish soap's run dry,
You've got one final warning or it's rubber-glove goodbye!

[chorus]
Wash it up, wash it up, the sink is overflowing,
You cooked your greasy noodles and now the kitchen's glowing,
Wash it up, wash it up, I'm begging on my knees,
'Cause I just want a spoon that doesn't smell like blue cheese!

[bridge]
(brass solo — trumpet and trombone trade off)
Talk it over! (Rubber gloves at dawn!)
Take it over! (Dish-brush showdown on the lawn!)
This is the last, last time...
I mean it, mate — this is the LAST!

[chorus]
Wash it up, wash it up, the sink is overflowing,
You cooked your greasy noodles and now the kitchen's glowing,
Wash it up, wash it up, I'm begging on my knees,
'Cause I just want a spoon that doesn't smell like blue cheese!

[outro]
Wash it up! (wash it up!)
Wash it up! (wash it up!)
One clean spoon, that's all I ask...
Alright, fine, I'll do it — but you're buying the dish soap!
(horn stab)