Recipe for Disaster

[intro]
One, two, three—no, wait—
(count it off again)

[verse 1]
Smoked alarm's the timer that I never set
Pasta boiled to paste, and the sauce ain't better yet
I read "fold the egg whites" like it's written in Greek
My hollandaise broke up with me at the sink last week

[chorus]
I'm cooking up a recipe for disaster
Half a cup of chaos, and a pinch of "close enough"
Whisk in time signatures, kitchen's getting faster
Burnt toast on the counter, but I'm calling it crème brûlée
(Brûlée! Burnt anyway!)

[verse 2]
Chopped the onion wrong, now I'm crying on the floor
Measuring in vibes, don't know what a scallion's for
The smoke detector harmonizes in E minor sharp
Every failed omelet's just abstract art

[chorus]
I'm cooking up a recipe for disaster
Half a cup of chaos, and a pinch of "close enough"
Whisk in time signatures, kitchen's getting faster
Burnt toast on the counter, but I'm calling it crème brûlée
(Brûlée! Burnt anyway!)

[bridge]
Seven-eight, seven-eight, flip the pancake—too late
Five-four on the stove, watch the garlic plates
It's raw in the middle, it's black at the edges
But I made it myself, and the label says "chef"
So pour another glass of "probably fine"
Dinner's at nine—
(It's nine-oh-nine)

[chorus]
I'm cooking up a recipe for disaster
Half a cup of chaos, and a pinch of "close enough"
Whisk in time signatures, kitchen's getting faster
Burnt toast on the counter, but I'm calling it crème brûlée

[outro]
(Salt it again, salt it again)
Taste it—no, that's a sin
Order the takeout, turn the oven off
Recipes are just suggestions, and I'm cooking from the heart
(Burnt, but from the heart)